I'm Moving . . .

I'm moving over to MySpace because it's funner and I get to put more stuff on there that is cool. I don't know if I'll still blog about Days. I did watch last week but only Wed - Fri cause due to Daylight Savings Time my DUMB VCR didn't automatically change the time like I thought it did, so it taped PASSIONS instead. UGH. The only reason I was able to see Wed - Fri was because I stayed up Sunday night and watched them on SoapNet. So anyway, I don't know if you have to have a MySpace account to read my blog, if not then please come visit me.

http://www.myspace.com/amycougar

Sanjaya continues to reign . . . KILL. ME. NOW.

I just can't believe that Sanjaya is now in the Top 10 and will TOURING with the group this summer or whenever they do the Idol Tour!!!!! UN-FRIKKIN-BELIEVABLE!!! Tuesday night's show was beyond entertaining though with LuLu's screeching and that little girl blubbering over Sanjy, it had me in stitches. I honestly like To Sir, With Love but that rendition that LuLu graced us with last night was truly horrible. It didn't even sound like the original sound. I guess with all the years of smoking damaging her vocal cords . . . I did like Peter Noone's There's a Kind of Hush. However, I noticed he was wearing the same frikkin' outfit that he had on Tuesday night and I think when he was mentoring the guys!

So what can I say about this weeks contestants? I can say that Stephanie deserved to go because she truly was not good this week. Didn't Nadia Turner do that song and completely nailed it? I'm thinking she did. Jordin Sparks was unbelievable. Loved her. Liked her footage with LuLu cause when LuLu's like, "You need to [scream]!" and does that, "EEEEEK!" Jordin responds with her own startled yelp and says, "Oh, my!" BA-HAHAHAHA. Classic.

I am an emotional wreck since my medications are all screwed up and I'm guinea pigging this new stuff so even though the Crying Girl completely CRACKED me up when I first saw her sobbing over Sanjy, she had ME crying at the end of the show when Ryan has her come up on stage and she's hugging everyone. Jimmy kept saying she was from the Make a Wish Foundation but I said she's just a star-struck 12 year old. And that's what she turned out to be! Unfortunately for her, AI continued to show her clip so I'm sure once she went back to school, her classmates were giving her hell over crying over Sanjaya Malakar. I bet she has a lot to cry about now.

Phil was 10 times better than he was last week and I was proud that I new Tobacco Road which Jimmy didn't! HAHAHA. Jimmy thinks he's the ultimate song expert cause he can "name that tune" with the first note as he constantly flips channels on the car radio. I'm glad Gina made it through and of course no surprise that Blake, Melina and Lakisha breezed through. I don't know but Blake had me all light-headed with the Zombie's "Time of the Season" -- except when he looked all cross-eyed as this horrible picture depicts. I'm sure Blake is having a cow that this picture made it to the website. But maybe he doesn't even look at the website because if I did I'd be pitching a fit and demanding that it be taken down. I absolutely cracked up when Ryan was doing those funky moves after the critique. Hilarious. I'm telling you, this season is just a totally different ball-game. Um. Didn't care for Chris Sligh. I still like his personality but personality is not going to get you a recording contract. At least it wouldn't for me -- this day and age anyone can get a recording contract it seems. I've been reading Mary Wilson's DreamGirl when the competition was fierce between artists and you actually had to be GOOD to make it.

Katherine-McPhee-Wannabe Hayley was guaranteed another week with the help of her hot pants and slinky boob top. Simon's comment, "You naughty girl," was hilarious. But as you can see it worked cause she wasn't even in the bottom two. I have to say the Ford commercial they did was much better than last week's. It was funny because I wasn't really paying attention when it came on and I happened to look up and was thinking, "Hunh, that looks like Melinda from American Idol." HA. Speaking of Melinda -- don't like the new hair cut. It makes her head look that much larger and accentuates the fact she has no neck. Anyhoo, next week should be interesting. There is a girl on MySpace who is on a hunger strike until Sanjy is kicked off. Maybe I'll join her.

Craziness ensues . . .

So sucking pond water wasn't good enough to get voted off cause Sanjaya IS STILL THERE FOR ANOTHER WEEK!!! UN-FRIKKIN-BELIEVABLE. At least he WAS in the bottom three. If he hadn't been there, I really would have gone off. As I guessed, Hayley got the sympathy vote. I wonder if she's going to cry every week now so people will feel sorry for her? I definitely don't think Phil Stacey deserved to be in the bottom three. This show is just crazy sometimes. I guess I should mention that Brandon the Backup Singer got the boot. You would've thought he'd won a prize the way he was smiling though. Maybe that was his defense to keep from crying cause he got voted off and Hula Boy didn't.

Well, let's talk about Diana. Obviously the word DIVA originated to describe her cause boy, what a Diva she was last night. Jimmy and I stifled laughter when she first came out and started that, "Wheee! Yeeah! Wheee!" We definitely thought it was going to be reminiscent of the Super Bowl half-time show but she actually did start singing. "Eh" is all I can say. Wasn't really that great for me, man. Kinda pitchy, you know? I did have to laugh when Ryan asked her who she thought was going home and she laughs, "Me!" Good answer. I don't know why they ask that question anyway. Like she would've said, "I think that Sanjaya Malakar should go home! P.U.!"

That Ford commercial they did was horrendous. I didn't think they could make Chris Sligh's hair any bigger but they did. It was just really scary overall. Blech. And their performance of the Diana Ross melody was pretty stinky too. I tell you, this is the weakest bunch of contestants I've seen on this show. If Lakisha, Melinda, Jordin and Brandon weren't on there, I don't think I would even be watching this season.

All I can think about now is how bad will Sanjy do next week and will people wise up and STOP VOTING FOR HIS HULA @$$???!!

And I didn't think Sanjaya could be any worse . . .

But boy was I wrong! He sucked pure pond water last night and THAT HAIR. OMG. He PERMED it. It was almost as big as Diana Ross's and that's BIG. I LOL'ed when she asked, "Can you dance?" He should've said, "No but I can hula!" and then start doing his little hula dance for her. I absolutely ROLLED when Simon said that wherever Diana Ross should be watching the show, she was squealing like a beached whale -- or something to that effect. HOW did this no-talent MJ (now Diana Ross!) wannabe get to the Top 12?? But not only was Sanjy just horrid but also Haley and Brandon -- the other two DUDS from last week that shouldn't have made it this far. And when Simon didn't rake her over the coals, Haley actually collapsed in tears!

As always Melinda and Lakisha (Kiki) brought it as did Jordin Sparks. These three are truly the only ones that have real talent. I swear I have more talent in my big toe than Sanjy, Haley and Brandon all combined. Hey, I rock Karaoke Revolution(TM)! ;) Phil Stacey did sound a lot better than he did last week and Blake was eh. I really didn't care for his version of . . . what was it? Can't even remember it now. Let's see. What else? Oh, Gina did well with Love Child, I thought. I thought it was kinda weird that Paula described it as an "upbeat" song. I guess she meant the tempo because the content of the song is less than upbeat -- singing about your illegitimate child is not exactly a feel good story. I was in a weepy mood to begin with cause I've started a new medication (after having a horrible allergic reaction to the previous one) so I boo-hooed when Paula and Melinda were boohooing. Even Simon made me boohoo when he goes, "Melinda! Why are you crying?" but was laughing at Paula.

Is it even wise to admit that one of your musical influences is Michael Jackson? I was asking that question when Blake revealed that during his question and answer session. Maybe before all the pedophile accusations and before he bleached himself white and his nose fell off -- but I just don't think that's WISE to admit now. But it's not me up there.

Totally loved Melinda's response to "what's the hardest thing about doing this competition" and she says, "The dresses and these high heels!" Totally agree with you on that!

Lakisha looked smashing in her elegant white evening gown but I think she should've done the mic stand. That would've made it even more classy.

I dunno about Diana Ross as an individual. Her hair is REALLY REALLY BIIIG. She didn't seem she had much advice to give except "work the crowd" and "work the stage". She was kinda boring but pretty outspoken about whom she did and didn't like of the contestants. Strange combination.

Once americanidol.com posts pictures from last night, I will add a few here to give you a taste of what I'm REALLY talking about. Tonight is results night and I have a horrible feeling we're going to be seeing more of Sanjaya even though he is absolutely HORRID and never should've made it this far. Also think that Haley is going to get the sympathy vote for her breaking down into tears last night. :(

American Idol's Top Twelve

I can't lie. I actually CHEERED when Barbarella got cut last week from the Top 12. Seriously. I waved my arms in the air and yelled, "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH, MAN! WOO WOO WOO!" However, I was stunned when Hula Boy made it through and NOT Sundance!!! Where's the justice in that?? And what about that Haley Scranato -- Disney singer extraordinaire -- over Sabrina???? You could even tell the judges were dumbfounded on that one as well. So this season's Top Twelve is definitely a mixed-bag from the get go. Of course we all know that Lakisha, Melinda and Blake definitely deserved the Top 12 status and they are there. But the ones who squeaked by on the seat of their pants . . . ? Boooooo.


Carrie Underwood performed her new hit "Wasted" on last week's vote-off show and the one thing I have say is "EATING DISORDER"!!! I couldn't BELIEVE how incredibly SKINNY she is now! Does she have "eating" in her schedule, I wonder? Lord have mercy! But as always, Carrie delivered a perfect performance and we were reminded what Simon said to her during Season 4 -- "You will go on to sell more records than any Idol winner . . ." and she has certainly proved him right. Grammies, CMT awards, you name it -- she's won it. I am definitely a Carrie fan and wish her all the best, but I definitely wish she would eat a few cheeseburgers and gain back some of the weight she's lost!


OK -- I'm sure you're wondering who I'm glad that made it through and who I think shouldn't have. On my list of "SHOULDN'TS" are: Brandon the Back-Up Singer, Sanjy the Hula Boy (who CAN'T hula!), and Haley the Disney Cruise Ship Singer (everything she's sang has sounded straight out of Aladdin). I definitely don't think these three deserved making it to the Top 12 AT ALL. Everyone else that made it I say, "Right on." Unfortunately, I see these 3 hanging on and passing up the ones that should stick around. Can't wait for that! UGH.


So tonight is Diana Ross's coaching? That should be interesting. I'm not a big fan of Diana and think she is idolized way too much. Yes she was a significant part of the girl groups from the 60s but you can tell she is a diva and has to be the center of attention at all costs -- no matter who gets hurt. The other Supremes could tell you that. Plus I can't forget that Super Bowl half-time show she did that one year and all she "sang" was, "WHEEE WOOO WHEEE WOOO!" from the edge of that helicopter while she kept brushing that bush of hair out of her face. I'm actually interested in what she has to tell these contestants as far as advice and guidance.

Looking forward to tonight -- except for the 3 duds performances. :(

Something Stupid This Way Comes . . .

I was pretty bored overall with last week's Days. We get to see Steve all strait-jacketed up in the loony bin and he pretty much snows his doctor into getting him out of the strait-jacket but only if he takes a sedative. Of course we all know what he's really after and that's her cell phone. I still can't figure out if he's totally under EJ's control or only half and half and he's just an idiot now. BECAUSE HE CALLS EJ TO GET HIM OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. Stupid stupid stupid. I had to laugh at his antics with the doctor. Especially that part where he makes a big production of swallowing the pills and then kissing her on the nose.

Belle and Shawn are still on that island and all of a sudden Claire has blood poisoning. Shawn decides he'll build a raft to get them off the island while Belle stands there and berates him for even thinking of such a stupid idea. He makes a valid point in that if they don't try and get off the island, Claire is as good as dead so even if they do drown or get sucked into a whirl pool at least they tried instead of sitting around on their hineys. That shuts her up -- but only for about 5 seconds. All they have done while stranded is take turns blaming each other for the predicament they're in. Or maybe that's Shawn blaming himself a good 90% of the time while Belle goes back and forth between, "I can't believe we're in the situation" and "You're the man Shawn! I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth!"

You would think Lucas would finally realize that Sami is totally off her nut and needs some good therapy or maybe a good dose of Prozac. This girl has had moods swings the like I'VE never even seen. And I have mood swings, people. One minute she's all, "I'm good! Let's get married in the church!" and then she's, "GAK! GAK! WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE SALEM NOOOW! NOW LUCAS! NOOOW!" This is one time I REALLY wish they would do something totally different and have her actually CONFESS it all to Lucas. And also NOT forge the stupid medical records. Why not SURPRISE the viewing audience for ONCE? Hmmm? Even Celeste tells her that fake medical records aren't going to cut it with EJ but I read where she goes ahead and does it anyway -- this time dragging Nick into it. Like he doesn't have enough problems of his own.

Yeah, Nick and Chelsea are getting really cozy with the calculus tutoring. I never knew math could be such a stimulate but I guess it was all that yodeling, "Lowdy hi -- mody low" or whatever he was trying to teach her. He's flying high in the sky when he goes to tell Abbey his wonderful news and just like good ol Abbey she calls him a "chump" and says Chelsea is just paying him back for the whole Shane Patton thing. I would SO love to slap that smirk off her face. I absolutely CAN'T STAND HER!!!!!! I've tried to like her. I really have, but it's times like these that remind me what an absolute JERK she is! Her name should be Debbie Downer because that's ALL she does. Bring people down. Except for her precious MAX. Ugh. How she thinks he walks on water is beyond me. Even he himself has pointed out what an ass he's been to every girl that's had the unfortunate privilege to fall under his spell. But dumb Abbey just continues to sing his praises. And I still can't accept his sudden attraction for his "star" mechanic. It wasn't but three months ago when he compared her to a little sister -- or was that a puppy? Either way he had NO interest her whatsoever. And Jed's pretty stupid too to be all hung up on her because she's been nothing but rude to him ever since he made the mistake of talking to her that day at Java Cafe.

Nick and Chelsea's happiness is the shortest-lived EVER. He decides it's a GOOD idea to tell her about sleeping with Billie! OMG. He must've took the entire bottle of Stupid Pills. No one can talk ANY sense into him -- until he actually talks to Chelsea and comes THEES close to spilling the beans and she's the one who's like, "All that's in the past. I don't care what you did in the past with some older woman." And then it's BILLIE who comes busting in all flustered and yapping, "OMG! You didn't tell her did you?!" and it takes Chelsea all of 2 seconds to put it all together (that she should've put together the very night Nick and Billie did the deed) and she's absolutely horrified and grossed out. Nick gets a big slap on the face and Chelsea tells her mother she means nothing to her now! "GROSS!! ICK! I can't believe you two! BLECH! I'm going to throw up now!"

So Willow sinks even further is the depths of disgrace and shame when she asks EJ for a JOB. Ugh. Had to laugh though when he tells her to "turn around and BEND over"!! BA-HAHAHAHAHA! And she acts all worried! You would think she'd be used to that kind of talk and not think twice about it. Yes. That was mean. But I truly can't stand her and her pork chop lips. Plus, like he's going to boink her right in front of the Java Cafe? EJ's pretty scummy but he's NOT that scummy. He tells her he's going to write her a check -- what ELSE would he be doing? And her assignment? To break into Bo and Hope's house and steal Hope's jewelry. Of course we know this is to make Bo want to have Billie's STOOPID security system installed so EJ can spy on them. Like we couldn't see THAT one coming from a mile away. Like an elephant on the horizon! Geesh. Willow refuses but then has to reconsider when EJ calls the YMCA and informs the Den Mother that Willow is pregnant. So the Den Mother has to throw Willow out on her ear because of their policy of "no children". Technically, Willow doesn't have a child yet -- it's still in the oven -- you would think they would let her stay there until the birth or at least until she could find another place. But as you all know, this is a soap and stuff like that doesn't happen on soaps --just the stupid and unbelievable. So after the Den Mother calls to tell Willow she's out, Willow is forced to accept EJ's offer. Wonder what she'll spend all THAT money on? She stated, "This is two years salary!" Maybe Jed's independent study in cosmetology?

A lot more idiocies went down in the town of Salem but they're really not that important. I'm sure there'll be lots more to talk about NEXT week! Isn't there always?

(Screen Caps courtesy of Days2 with my own added captions)

Sanjy Likes Ta Hula . . . Cripes.

The guys were back to being weeeeak this week. HA. It was also "secrets revealed" and some of them would've been better off keeping their secrets to themselves. Take Sanjaya -- this kid obviously is desperate to get voted off. His confession of being able to hula was just LAME LAME LAME. Plus the fact he can't even hula well. What an insult to all the professional hula dancers out there. Ick. His hair also left much to be desire. Obviously he got his hands on a straightening iron and somebody needs to promptly take it back. Horrendous. He looks much better with the waves though I think he should lop that mop off regardless. What did he sing? I can't remember but I do remember that it was awful. Again. I won't even predict that he gets the boot cause I'm sure all those teeny boppers and Children of the 80s who want to remember Michael Jackson as normal wore their fingers off dialing and texting in their votes.

Even though I said I like Phil, he made me absolutely CRINGE with his rendition of LeeAnn Rymes' "I need You." Ghastly! As Simon would say. Simon cracked me up with his comment of, "That hat and those big eyes . . ." Ryan asked Phil if he would squint next week. I suggest he definitely pick a better song! And of course Jimmy and I were totally off the mark on who would be signing the LeeAnn song. We thought Brandon the Backup Singer would considering he fits that image of singing female ballads. He attacked Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time last week. And killed it. I actually did like Brandon better this week but I think he's not going to last much longer. But who am I to predict who stays or goes? Lord knows I got it all wrong last week with the exception of Farrah Fawcett Hair. But I digress.

I think Blake is the one to contend with because he is just so original and nothing the likes of American Idol has seen before. Plus none of the judges recognized the song he did but they still loved it. Couldn't tell you what it was either.

I voted for Jared because I just like him. He did do good on the Stevie Wonder song and I'm not a Stevie Wonder fan by any means. I think they have WAY too many Stevie Wonder performances on this show in the first place. If he makes it to the top 12 I hope they do something with his wardrobe cause that argyle sweater he was wearing last night did nada for me. He also reminds me of that dude on Young and the Restless -- Malcolm? Something like that. I don't watch Young and the Restless but still know who the major characters are. I've watched it few times when I've been waiting in dr's offices and I'm always stunned how REAL the storylines and characters are. Nothing like the craziness of Days where you have to suspend all notion of reality. Any hoo, I'm totally getting off track . . .

Sundance was eh. Nothing great. He sang a Pearl Jam song and I really wasn't impressed. I still hope he's around next week cause he has such a nice personality and loved his "secret" of being a thin person in disguise " . . . but there no pictures to prove it". Too funny. Especially when they stuck his head on a skinny body and made his teeth sparkle when he winked at the camera.

Chris Sligh, whom I'm going to refer to as Jack Osborne from now cause that's who he totally looks like, sang some weird song I'd never heard of. He can still sing though and still makes me laugh with his quirky personality. Interesting to know all those "luscious" curls don't come from a box. That was his big secret.

Well, folks it's time for the girls, so I'm going to go watch the show now. More tomorrow . . .

Please feel free to leave comments! I always enjoy hearing what other people have to say and at least it lets me know somebody is reading my blog. :)

The Husband has Replaced the Butler

Reminiscent of the Laci Peterson murder we now have a new face of evil. Stephen Grant -- who is accused of murdering and dismembering his wife Tara Grant. Just look at that face. Makes me shudder. Tara certainly didn't get the coverage that Laci acquired but her death is no less tragic. In recent news reports it is stated that Grant has not offered a motive for strangling and dismembering his wife's body. We only know they argued over her frequent business trips to Puerto Rico. The day before she disappeared she had just returned from one of the trips and she and Grant argued heatedly. The next day she disappeared (February 9) and Grant didn't report her missing until five days later because his story was that she'd received a suspicious phone call the night before and took off in a "dark sedan". Well, that should've been a heads up right there that everything wasn't on the kosher side. Unfortunately for Tara none of that happened. Maybe if it had she would still be alive and Stephen Grant wouldn't be facing Murder One. As always the husband becomes a "person of interest" and a lot of people might think this is unfair to the genuinely distraught man who really has lost his wife to some sicko, but sadly enough 9 times out of 10 the sicko ends up being the deceitfully distraught husband. What is wrong with this picture? What suddenly happens to make someone do this to the person they've promised to honor and cherish the rest of their lives? Is there some deeper evil that we rational people have no concept of? A deeper evil that shrouds them and makes them forget who they are and what they stand for? What is even more tragic about this case is the two children that are left without a mother and left with the knowledge that their father is the one who committed this despicable crime. They were even in the house when Tara Grant fought for her life and was strangled, but thankfully asleep in their beds.

Not only did Stephen Grant strangle his wife but he also dismembered her as well -- supposedly at his family's tool shop according to police reports. Sick sick sick. And the eternal question is WHY. What did Tara Grant do to deserve this kind of death? Absolutely nothing I tell you. I didn't know Tara Grant only first hearing of her existence when she was reported missing. But I can tell you just by looking at her picture that she didn't deserve this kind of ending to her life. What must have she been thinking the night her husband killed her? I can't even imagine. If Stephen Grant thought she was having an affair or not being 100% devoted to their marriage, it certainly didn't give him the right to decide whether she lived or died. But then sociopaths don't think the same way as rational people. If they did, then there wouldn't be any Laci Petersons or Tara Grants turning up missing and then dead and dismembered. The only comfort I can give myself is that the Scott Petersons and Stephen Grants of the world will get theirs in the end. Judgment Day is coming and it's not going to be pretty for the likes of them and all I can say is, "BRING IT ON." Until that day, I pray for the innocent lives affected by these grisly acts and hope the children are being loved and comforted the way they should be. It seems every day we are reminded what a tragedy life really is and that we are not meant for this world but only a short time. Too bad we can't live that short time in peace and harmony without the sonsofbitchs screwing things up.

DrOOL -- And They Get Dumber and Dumber . . .

My, My -- I wonder if Kayla feels really stupid? If she had listened to Steve when he first wanted her to have him arrested, half of last week's insanity would never have happened. John would still have both of his kidneys and Steve wouldn't be a raving lunatic foaming at the mouth. Instead we have the lunacy of Kayla who is not even a SURGEON do major surgery on a comatose patient in a nasty warehouse. Another dumb thing is Marlena is no where in sight. We only hear that "she's giving her statement" to the police when Bo first shows up at the hospital to investigate John's strange disappearance. Oh yeah, and how about Roman's dumbass comment to Bo, "Do you really think Steve was programmed to do the Dimera's bidding?" Well, um, uh, let's see . . . YES YOU FRIKKIN' IJIT! Half the town's been programmed at one time or another by the Dimeras and you have two of the main pawns standing around going, "Duuuuh. I dunno. Maybe Steve just is a psycho!" Who could ever forget BoBo Mime? I did like how Steve reminded the audience and informed newbies that it was him that kidnapped John (then known as The Pawn) from Stefano and brought John to Salem, but as EJ reminded HIM only at the behest of Victor Kiriakis.

So Nick saves Chelsea from Dr. Creepert and it was all good. I had to laugh though when Creepert tells Chelsea, "I know that you were picked up on prostitution." Remember that little show? Maybe it will give her food for thought later on down the road . . . Loved it when Nick yanked Creepert from the car, flung him on the ground and yelled, "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HER! EVER!" I could even tell that it made Chelsea weak in the knees, Nick being all forceful like that. It was all a perfect set-up for her to finally forgive him and realize that he never meant to hurt her by pretending to be Dr. Shane Patton. I got tired of Nick continually stating that it was all his fault for her being in that situation but was impressed when Chelsea finally admitted that he wasn't too blame for everything. Chelsea also realizes how mushy Nick makes her and they[the writers]even let them kiss! Nick convinces her to file a complaint against Creepert and I was impressed again at how fast they wrapped that up. Probably because Creepert was a fourth-rate character and no need to spend any amount of time on dragging out a sexual harassment case. Loved how Creepert tried to implicate Nick regarding the whole Internet thing but the Affirmative Action officer states that he knows all about that. BA-HAHAHA! Next we see Creepert with his box of belongings being escorted from the lab. What I thought was funny is all of sudden the lab has a staff of like 20 people when up til that time, we've only saw Nick and Rebert working there.

So, it seems Abbey is still "helping" Max out at the garage. But, um, shouldn't somebody tell her that the oil filter and pan are not underneath the trunk of the car? I distinctly remember Max saying, " . . . still need to do an oil change on this car," which turns out to be Jed's whom Abbey is totally rude to again. She's so snobby and stuck-up that she actually thought he stalked her to the garage. Loved her sheepish look when Max informs her that it's Jed's car she just repaired or whatever you want to call it. Max is still dealing with Mimi so can't really focus on his new-found crush on Abbey. Jed must be a sucker for punishment cause he's still determined to get Abbey to go out with him and she finally agrees! I think she's jealous cause he's prettier than she is. They end up at Chez Rouge (of course) where Maggie feeds them on the house and Jed's all, "Thank you ma'am!" and Maggie obviously does not like being called "ma-am" cause she is quick to correct him. "It's Maggie, dear." Just when we thought things were going really good between these two, Brandon spots Nicole. Oops, I mean, Jed spots Willow and Abbey unknowingly informs him that "that troublemaker is a former prostitute who keeps bugging Maggie about rehiring her". Had to laugh when Brandon, uh, Jed, glares at Abbey and says, "Let me reintroduce myself. I'm Jed STARK. Willow is my sister!" I could almost see Abbey visibly shrink to 2 inches tall at that revelation! Jed confronts Willow who is noticeably shaken to see her brother and she tries to brush off his questions and accusations. Finally she flees the premises and he starts to follow her but Abbey tells him to just let her go cool off and he says, "I don't even know where to find her!" And for some reason, Abbey's line, "I hear she's staying at the Y," just totally amused me.

Did Willow not tell Shawn that she's pregnant with his baby? If so, he'd better be fessing up to Belle before that train she keeps comparing their life to suddenly derails, crashes and burns. I see a headon collision on the horizon! Wooooo Wooooo! In looking at their shelter, I would like to know where they stuffed Claire. During their whole dramatics after Shawn kissed Belle, who certainly didn't protest much but made out like he tried to ravish her, we just see them kinda pointing to the pile of sheets or whatever whenever Claire is mentioned. And HOLY MOLY BATMAN! When Shawn decides to strip down to his underwear, there is pretty much NOTHING left to to the imagination. The entire time I'm thinking, "Those tighty whiteys aren't so tighty!" The reason he does that is because after standing around holding a palm leaf over his head, he finally decides that he might as well just get naked and take a shower if he's going to be forced to stand out in the rain while Miss Belle goes on and on about him "groping" her and just thinking she was a "willing sex partner". Because you know, that's what Willow was -- a willing sex partner. But Belle did make a good point when Shawn claimed he didn't have any feelings for Willow and Belle points out that he was quick to have her move in with him and hide her from Belle during the whole custody arrangement. Kinda got you there, Shawn. He was a pretty big idiot during all that. Shacked up with a prostitute, playing messenger boy between two criminals (EJ and Patrick) . . .

Psycho Phil arrives back in town and pretty much relishes telling Bo that Shawn and Belle jumped overboard with "his daughter" and got "his daughter" killed. He dumps a box marked "Remains" on Roman's desk which contains Claire's teddy bear, Shawn's hat(?) and part of the ripped up lifeboat. He gets in Bo's face about while he was off "serving his country and getting his face blown off" that Shawn and Belle were plotting against him to take Claire away from him. Bullsh!t!!! Uh, HELLO??? You LEFT Salem! You sent Belle divorce papers (which did she ever sign??)! And actually Shawn and Belle were fighting amongst themselves over Claire. They weren't even giving Phil a second thought. And I'm absolutely SICK of Phil referring to Claire as "HIS daughter"!!! She is NOT his daughter!!! I was cheering Bo on when he grabs Philip by the shirt neck and shakes him like a sack of potatoes and tells him to shut his pie-hole. I wish Bo'd stomped him flat but instead he flings Phil away. Philip gets all cocky again and smirks, "I've always looked up to you Big Bro but I've never been afraid of you." I ALWAYS forget these two are half-brothers. I hooted when Bo snarled, "YOU'RE NO BROTHER OF MINE!" and throws him out of the office. BA-HAHAHAHA

Later Bo makes the discovery that Shawn & Co. are alive by this code Shawn supposedly left on the side of the raft. He explains the theory to Roman who pretty much has the usual, "What da hell" look on his face. Something about flags of different countries representing letters of the alphabet. The gist being Shawn scratched the word "SAFE" on the side of the raft and ripped the raft up for show to throw Philip off their trail. We did find out the blood was Claire's. Told you that was some cut finger. I find it absolutely asinine that the Australian coast guard or whoever called off the search after only one hour of looking and finding the torn up raft. However Bo tells Roman to call the Australian authorities to form another search and rescue. His Sailor Man is alive! You know what cracks me up? If a word was missing from his message -- like it really reading, "NOT SAFE". Now, that's funny stuff.

So Mimi finds out that SHE is the one who killed her dad. Man, can this girl cry. Snot running out of her nose, cheeks drenched in tears. She makes Marlena look like an ice queen. And here's Max -- trying to be a good boyfriend so to speak. I guess the whole thing with the surrogate has gone by the wayside. It was interesting that Bonnie said Victor was the one who posted her bail. I just assumed it was because she used to work for him and he's not totally turned to stone. But I read on Dustin's page, I think, that it could've been a part of Victor finding out about the surrogate. Who knows. Methinks this will be one of those storylines that gets swept under the rug never to be heard from again. And actually? I could care less. Bonnie convinces Mimi to let her take the wrap and for Mimi to go to Arizona to be with Conner. Bub-bye Mimi. It was nice knowing you and your many different colors of hair.

Let's see. What else was going on? Oh, yeah. EJ, Sami and Lucas. EJ confronts Sami on knowing about her pregnancy and I laughed when he whispers, "I went through your trash!" and she's looking at him like he's crazy. But all I can say is "Sami, Sami, Sami," as she falls right back in her old ways of trying to cover things up when we all know that it will blow up in her face and she'll be left with nothing. You would THINK that she had learned her lesson by now, but NOPE. Not this girl. Her biggest problem is she's not willing to trust the people that love her to stick by her. Especially in THIS particular situation. Anybody with two cents would know it wasn't her fault regarding the whole EJ thing and she did what she thought she had to do to save Lucas. GEESH. EJ threatens to tell Lucas all about their night of sin if she doesn't get a paternity test to prove who's the father. And strangely he remembers their encounter much differently than what really happened. I honestly think he's convinced that she actually liked it! But what's scary is that Sami looks like she's starting to be convinced too! ICK. Anyhoo, EJ finally agrees to move out of the apartment as he'd promised Lucas previously. This is only after Lucas tells him that he'll quit Mythic and move his family away from Salem. Oooooh. You go Lucas in your awesome tight blue shirt that makes you look sooooo goooood. Ahem.

Maggie must've taken Hope on a Mighty Guilt Trip for Hope to show up at Willow's room at the Y and offer to pay for her doctor's appointments and time with a nutritionist! Plus give her extra money to buy groceries and other things she needs. I liked how Hope eavesdropped on Jed and Willow when she first showed up. We hear Jed giving Willow the what-for for lying to him about being this big "executive" and such. He wants to know how many tricks she turned to make $10,000. Ouch. He leaves and Hope ducks to the side making sure he doesn't see her. Hope is really laying it on thick as far as playing the do-gooder. She tries to make like she's happy to help out Willow and the baby but Willow quickly reminds her how she reacted when Willow first came to her for help. Hope asks what happened to the $10,000 that Willow received for lying on the stand and Willow snarks that she smoked $10,000 worth of Crack. Hope becomes livid and grabs Willow and tells her to NEVER say something like that because she KNOWS what it feels like to lose a child. Plus, I was thinking about when JT was born and Hope thought she caused his birth defects by drinking while pregnant (which wasn't the case of course). Willow looks stunned for only a moment but then dramatically falls back on the bed saying, "Oh! You got me with both barrels that time!" This girl just makes my skin itch. Also I would like to wipe that pork chop grease off her mouth. Willow then has the audacity to suggest that she come home with Hope!!! OMG! Thankfully, Hope refuses and tells Willow that she has a mean streak when things don't go her way and there's no way Hope would trust her being around Doodlebug. I had forgotten about Doodlebug. Are they EVER gonna name that poor kid? Regardless, I was scared too death we were going to have a repeat of the "Let's have Jan Spears Live With Us" fiasco. Lord have mercy on our souls if that should happen . . .

Until next time . . . and please feel free to leave comments!

(All pictures courtesy of Days2 with my own added captions)

What a Let Down . . .

Well, I should've known the voting would be all skewed. Cheerio-Lips is around for another week of horrendous singing. She can't sing Aerosmith, can't sing Celine (what made her think she could after butchering Aerosmith?!) so I guess we'll get to see what else she can't sing. UGH. I was going to refer to her as "Blow-Hole Mouth" but I figured that would be on the offensive side considering the sex photo scandal she was involved in last week. The only one that I predicted would get the boot that actually got the boot was Farrah Fawcett Hair. And she's the only one who deserved it. Nick and AJ certainly didn't deserve to go over Michael Jackson Wannabe Sanjaya and Boring Brandon the Backup Singer. Jimmy and I really liked AJ and he made us happy with his spunky personality. Even Sanjaya was absolutely "SHOCKED" that he was safe for another week. Obviously he's got all those swooning teeny-bopper votes and the people who remember Michael Jackson when he looked normal before he turned into an alien with removable body parts -- I totally thought Sanjy was going to sing Billie Jean the other night. The hat, the shirt, the pants, the skinny physique. C'mon. He certainly was not emulating Tony Bennett.

Last night was certainly a night of "Firsts" for American Idol -- at least since I've been watching. I've never seen anyone not be able to sing their encore performance but Farrah Fawcett Hair proved that you can break down on stage and not be able to get through the misery of being voted off. Also, Dog Walker Girl added her own lyrics to her good-bye performance when she sang, "I don't know why I skat cause America doesn't care about that!" Or did she say "doesn't care about jazz"? Either way it was pretty damn funny. We certainly have an emotional bunch of contestants this season cause every time the camera would pan over to Sundance, he was wiping his eyes, fighting back tears or just boo hooing. I swear he reminds me of somebody I know. I do know he looks like a big teddy bear that I would like to give a big squeeze.

It was good seeing Kellie Pickler again! I really liked the song she sang and I'm wondering if that was directed towards her mother?? I'm thinking her mom ran out on her when she was little? Cause I know she's lived with her grandparents most of her life while her dad's been in and out of jail. And I think he's back in jail cause I remember reading something about him getting in trouble for fighting a few weeks ago. However, I didn't care for Kellie's hair style and really thought it made her look 10 years older -- maybe even 20 years. Jimmy said he thought it was fine though, but I think he was paying more attention to her dress which accentuated her boobies and butt. He participates in the American Idol discussion board and said the talk on there was how Ryan was trying to get her to say she bought new boobs with her money instead of just shoes. I did like those silver heels she had on and commend her for being able to walk without falling cause I would be flat on my face with the first step. I wish they would let the returning Idols talk to the judges after they sing -- just to see how the judges think of them now. I had a feeling that Simon was less than thrilled to see her back just observing his body language. He was somewhat turned away from the stage when Ryan introduced Kellie and after she came out on stage. If Kellie noticed any negative reactions, she would never point them out. Loved how she was describing "spider" sushi to Ryan. And just for the record, my first taste of calamari was probably 2 years ago at Carraba's Italian Restaurant and I absolutely loooooove it. But only if it's cooked right. You can get calamari that tastes like you're chewing rubber bands. NOT GOOD. Carraba's is the best BY far. Anyhoo!

Join me next week for more Idol recaps!

Begone Stupid Antonella!

I hope that Antonella Barba gets the boot. I haven’t liked her from day one. Well, actually since Group Day during Hollywood Week. The crowning moment was when they sent her on through to the Top 24 over that other girl who actually remembered her lyrics! I think they just picked her because she's pretty (as Paula and Randy have pointed out continuously). Certainly didn't take any time for the racy pictures to start surfacing either -- Antonella being the first target. I wonder what her parents have to say about them even though the X-RATED ones are being denied as her? Anyhoo! The other gal that I think will go tonight is the one who sang the Dixie Chicks song. Jimmy calls her Farrah Fawcett Hair. She’s pretty boring and unforgettable as Simon would say. And you would think they would’ve learned by now not to start anything with him! But obviously not, considering that dumb Antonella made that snide comment about him not liking Jennifer Hudson and he reminded her that he wasn’t the one who voted her off. HA! I loooove Simon. My favs last night were Lakisha and Melinda Doolittle. Melinda looked much more comfortable than she has. She's not resembling a frightened turtle as much as she did. Can’t wait for tonight cuz Kellie Pickler is going to be on there and I love her. She cracks me up. She needs to get her own talk show or something. She's done a few of those coorespondent gigs on the Tonight Show and I thought I would bust a gut laughing at her antics in New York and interacting with celebrities such as Justin Timberlake and Will Ferrell.

The guys were much better this week though Sanjaya and Brandon the Backup Singer were extremely weak and boring. I predict they will get the boot but who knows. We all know that this show is totally unpredictable but if it wasn't then no one would be watching. My favs from the guys are Blake the BeatBoxer, Phil Stacey and Chris Sligh even though he made Simon mad with that Telletubby comment. I had no clue that that was Simon's first major success as a record producer! I like Sundance as well but really think he's not going to last that much longer. I think I like his personality much better than his singing ability. That Jared guy CRACKED ME UP when Simon compared his Marvin Gaye rendition to an episode of the Love Boat and Jared goes, "Yeah, but it would've been a great Love Boat." HAHAHAHA! Even cracked Simon up.

After last week sucking so bad, it appears after this week we're finally getting a real competition. I was really worried this season was going to be extremely BLAND compared to the last 2 seasons. For the record, I didn't start watching American Idol until Season 4. My favorites from seasons 4 & 5 were: Carrie Underwood (of course!), Bo Bice, Vonzel Solomon, Nadia Turner, CHRIS DAUGHTRY (loooove him), Taylor Hicks and Kellie Picker. Contestants that I LOATHED from seasons 4 & 5 were : Anthony Federov and Scott Savol -- both from Season 4! I really didn't have any from Season 5 though I thought there were those that lasted longer than they should have. We all know that it should've been Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks at the end of last season (with Chris being the winner!) so I was less than thrilled that Katherine McPhee was runner-up. But we also know WHO from last season has made it bigger than the last 2 standing could ever hope for themselves. Anyhoo! All Seasons under the bridge . . . time to start focusing on the new faces of Season 6 and how far my favorites will go in the competition! Rock On!

Yes, Jesus . . . I'm Still Here.

One of the things I hold most dear is my faith in Jesus Christ. Unfortunately for me I'm still a struggling human. Most of my adult life I have battled with my inner demons, battled with others and battled with myself to survive. Living with bipolar disorder doesn't help either and also the realization that I more than 99.9% likely inherited it from my father. For those of you who are relatively sane, I commend you. Or actually envy you. At the moment I'm having a pretty good week but it's one of those things where you don't know what's going to happen to change the good week or the good day or the good month or the good year. I don't even remember the last time I went more than 30 days without suddenly feeling I'm the most worthless thing on the planet. I don't know what's worse. The utter sense of hopelessness or just feeling worthless.

In all my misery I have always tried to hold on to the fact that God is there to support me, to make it better, to lead me through the darkness and back to the light once again. I just wish I would quit getting lost. I've been lost for almost a year now. Haven't been to church since . . . last summer, I think. But that's not to say I haven't had talks with God or walked with Him since that time. In fact I had the most wonderful spiritual experience last September called the Walk to Emmaus. A friend of mine who had already done the Walk sponsored me. A group of 30 women gather for a 4 day weekend to listen, discuss, participate in God's purpose for them and their spiritual walk thereafter. That weekend was the first I had ever experienced Agape love. People that I had never laid eyes on were there to serve us meals, pray for us and show us that things of this world can be left behind for a greater meaning. We took our problems, fears, self-doubt and gave them all to God. However I have a hard time letting Him keep my problems. I slowly start stealing them back from Him and I can almost see Him shaking His head with sadness at the fact that I refuse to let it all go.

Not to say I haven't let a lot go over the last 15 years of my adult life. My dad's suicide when I was a high school senior, the rage that would pulse through me that I was convinced was his essence trying to take possesion of me even in death, my post-partum depression after Victor was born and the horrible guilt I felt for things I thought. In all my deepest misery, some how, some way, I would stumble my way back to the only saving grace I had ever experienced. God's love. For people who are atheists, agnostic or even were raised believing but now don't care, I can't imagine how they get through horrible dark times. Turning to alcohol, drugs, sexual addictions are what most of these poor souls find. For all my turbulent times growing up with an emotionally abusive father, not once did I turn to any of these vices. And I truly owe it to my faith in my Lord and Savior. But I also live with the realization that I'm not perfect and never will be. I will continually fall but continually pray to God that He will be there to pick me up.

I am not afraid to call myself a sinner. I am. Anyone who says they're not a sinner are kidding themselves. We are human. We are prone to make bad choices. Lord knows I have made a crapload and I will keep on making bad choices. But I have comfort in the fact that I have the desire to make better choices for myself and my family. I have comfort in the fact that God will lead me down the right paths even though I'm looking off to the side to that wide lane of highway where everyone else seems to be having such a good ol time. Who said being a Christian is easy? They are a liar. Being a Christian is the hardest thing a person can be. You care constantly scrutinized by non-believers who are quick to point out your downfalls from the path of faith. You are also scrutinized by your fellow Christians who can be judgemental and unforgiving. This is why I have to remind myself that PEOPLE will always let me down but Jesus Christ will never let me down. I think that's one reason my desire to be a part of an organized worship service has soured. Too many masks -- even the pastor wears a mask at times. Powerful behind the pulpit but stone-cold one on one. Who needs that? I need a spiritual advisor that's going to comfort me and remind me of the power of God and prayer. I have experienced the power of prayer too many times to deny that I have something in my life that is beyond my complete understanding.

That's not to say I can't feel Satan working on me. He loves to plague me with doubts -- doubts in myself and my faith. He also likes to show me things that I could have or achieve if I would just come over to his side and take that wide path that so many people are traveling. Yeah, being a Christian is constant war between good and evil. However once you accept that saving grace from God, there's nothing you can't get through. I'm living proof of that and if you knew me personally you would understand exactly. I used to be scared of death. Not really knowing what was on the other side. If there was even a other side, but now my biggest fear is people that I love that have no relationship with God will not have the comfort that I have in trusting there is a better place waiting for us. My new fear of this life is growing old. My body giving out on me. My husband leaving me alone while he goes on to be with God. My friends, my family. But then it all comes back to the knowledge that it's all a stepping stone and it's only temporary. I will see them again. I have faith. And you can too . . .

Invasion of the Looney Birds

There were all kinds of idiots running around Salem last week. Unfortunately my favorite couple were a pair of them: Steve and Kayla. First Kayla wants Steve committed then she doesn't. Steve wants Kayla to turn him in for domestic violence after he tried to choke the life outta her when he was dreaming about choking EJ but she refuses. OK. Why doesn't he turn himself in??? Instead he goes right to EJ and pretty much says, "Here I am! Do with me what you will!" IJIT!!!! Which is to kidnap John from the hospital. Then Kayla calls Marlena who basically told Kayla to just let Steve go because he's not "Steve" anymore but a Dimera Pawn. Now that was TOTALLY stupid because HELLO? has Marlena NOT been fighting for John all this time even though the doctors keep telling her there's no hope? She refuses to put him in a nursing home and is totally convinced they communicate through her dreams and yet here she is telling Kayla that Steve is crazy and there's nothing she can do about it so just move on. IJIT! The whole stealing John from the hospital was stupid too because Steve disguising himself as a doctor was just silly. Yeah, "Hello, I'm your doctor with one eye and I'll be operating on your spleen today!" Dr. Patch at your service. My question is how did John not just die right there after Steve took him off all the life support?? Maybe John is the Six-Million Dollar Man in disguise.

The lunacy of the Shawn/Belle/Phil the Psycho continues with Shawn and the girls jumping overboard into a lifeboat. HAHAHAHA. Yeah. Right. I must say that Shawn looked really good in the stolen uniform. Probably the only thing I've agreed with Willow on. And yep, Phil has become Numero Uno Psycho cause he dangles Willow over the side of the ship after she gives him too much lip. On one hand, I was like, eh just go ahead and drop her but then on the other, I kinda felt sorry for her. And for somebody who's "pregnant" and supposedly already showing, that was quite a tight little nothing of a dress she had on. Actually it looked like she forgot to put a dress on and was just prancing around in her underwear. And I really hate all that pork chop lip gloss she wears. I swear I can just imagine her gnawing on a ham bone and getting the greasy lips. BLEEEEH. After Phil dangling Willow over the side just for her being lippy, I was shocked that he didn't rocket her to outer space when he found out that she saw Shawn and the girls leave and did nothing to stop them. That whole lifeboat joyride didn't last long cause the misfit Brady family washes up on some island shore and all I can think about is Blue Lagoon but unfortunately there's no permed Christopher Atkins running down the beach just in a loin cloth. Instead we have Belle running around like a banshee because she LOST Claire in the OCEAN. I have to admit that I truly felt her pain but I'm also sitting there wondering why that kind of dramatics because when Shawn finally finds Claire whom he claims was "just sitting there in a pile of sand playing", we all know in reality there is NO WAY a 12 month old baby could have survived the riptides they kept referring to in between Belle's screeching. But all's well that ends well. Oops. Nope. We suddenly get, "Shawn! She's BLEEEEEEEEEEDING!" Good Lord. How much can this poor kid be put through with her incompetent parents? Claire was really pitiful with her limp hair bow and she's being all fussy and I'm sure it's because she's thinking, "Why must I have such tortured life?" Of course it was a superficial cut and Shawn (who has been nothing but completely calm and collected the duration of this idiotic journey) fixes her up and is trying to start a fire while Belle screams and screeches, "Her lips are turning BLUUUUUE!" and this was after she wanted to put Claire in the water to stop her finger from bleeding. I wish Belle's lips would turn blue and fall off cause I'm tired of hearing her dramatics.

I thought it was awesome how Celeste confronted Sami on the speeding ticket with the attached picture of Sami and EJ and Sami confessed everything to her and Celeste was there to comfort and support her. Now, if Sami would've just done that with Lucas. If I was writing this show, I would've had the part where Lucas is badgering Sami about why she has this "irrational" fear of EJ and instead of her lame excuse, she would've blurted out, "Because he RAPED me! That's why! He raped me in exchange for helping me save your life at the cabin!" Now, that would've knocked the socks off Lucas and totally foiled any plan of Kate's doing to break them up. But instead we get the usual drippy soap excuses that in the end will be Sami's undoing instead of EJ's. For all of EJ's evil ways though, he still amuses me. I loved how he stole Sami's trash but very unimpressed that this was the only way he could figure out she's pregnant. And once again, I'm lost in the Lucas employment vortex. Now EJ's offering him a month off and use of his private jet for Sami and Lucas's honeymoon. I'm assuming now he officially works for Mythic. I had to laugh though when Lucas told EJ about his reluctance in working with his "old lady" now that he's disowned her once again and EJ's like, "I'll keep her in line." now that's a switch. Yeah, Kate tried once again to convince Lucas that Sami had help in saving his life -- specifically EJ's help but Lucas got acid ingestion from all her tripe and told her to get lost. Hmm. I think that makes the 247th time he's done that.

Boy, Chelsea sure is Miss Holier Than Thou. Nick makes one little mistake and she refuses to hear him out, forgive him and give him a chance to make amends. How soon we forget what a biotch we were only 2 months ago and what it felt like to be ostracized and hated (for good reason on her account though). Talk about the huge dutch oven stove calling the 2 quart sauce pan BLACK. I think it's really gross how she was totally using that Dr. Rebert to make Nick jealous. That's what she did to Max all the time and look where it got her with him. Dr. Rebert unfortunately turns out to be Dr. Creep who preys on young thangs. I loved it when Maggie told him to take his "underage" date for a Happy Meal instead of gracing her establishment again. I am getting tired of Nick continually defending Chelsea's idiotic actions. He tries to tell Dr. Rebert to leave Chelsea alone -- that she's not like he thinks -- and Rebert replies by punching him in the gut and saying, "I know. That's why I'm going after her," or something to that effect. Nick is still doubled over when Maggie comes back over and she says something to the effect that "girls aren't impressed by guys who let themselves get punched in the stomach". And Chelsea, being the idiot that she is, gets in Rebert's car and suddenly realizes that he's the Big Bad Wolf getting ready to have him some little Redriding Hood Pie and all I can think of, "Time for Marty McFly to come out and kick some ass". Some writer was watching a lot of 80s flicks while writing these episodes.

So this week we meet a new guy by the name of Jed and he has the unfortunate sense to ask Abbey for help in a class they have together and she snipes at him for not doing his own work even AFTER he explained he'd transferred in late. Ugh. She is still Miss Priss and 1/2. It's also no mystery that this is Willow's college-aged brother who she gave the $10,000 to for his tuition. Looks like another Nicole and Brandon Walker. White Anglo Saxon girl with extremely dark and Latin-esque brother. Yawn. But let me tell you. Ol Jed ain't got nothing on Brandon Walker. Meanwhile, Max and Mimi are over at the police station and Bonnie's confessed to her dad's murder. Blah blah blah. Mimi's got the pork chop greasy lips too. What's with slathering a bucket of lip gloss on these girls? Mimi wants to go back to Max's place but he's all squirmy and says he's got work to do or some such nonsense but when really he's interested in what Abbey's suddenly up to. Geesh. This is so far-fetched. He calls Abbey and leaves a message basically saying he's checking in and misses talking to her. Didn't they just see each other last night? This is all so contrived on his part but we know it's to set up the Jed/Abbey/Max triangle of 2007. Zzzzzzz. Wake me up when it's all over.

(All Pictures courtesy of Days2)

DrOOL-- Summer Breeze Make Me Feel Fine . . .

So JoJo and MarMar finally meet up in her dreams and boy does JoJo look ooooold. Never mind the fact that he has been in a coma for a while but you'd think in this dream paradise, he'd be looking a little better. All he gets to tell her is that Steve's coffin was stolen long ago and that he was tortured and brainwashed by the Dimeras. However, for those viewers who remember when Steve "died" we remember that Lawrence Alamain was the main villain at that time and presumably it would've been his cartel that would have stolen Steve's body. I still remember Kayla sitting by his bedside and holding his hand, saying, "You're so warm . . . so warm." John's telling Marlena the rest of what EJ told him the night he was shot but of course that dumba@@ doctor has to come in and wake her up. GEESH.

Steve goes all berserk-o on EJ again --this time in Chez Rouge and they end up flying out the window. Ej's got a nasty black eye that could use a good rib-eye. Steve gets thrown in the clinker and Kayla does everything but kick and scream to get him to commit himself to the psych ward at University Hospital. First he says yes, then no, then yes, then no again, then yes, then maybe, then hell no, then all right. I lost count after the 200th time he changed his mind. Benjy shows up with his tail tucked between his legs and Steve drills him a new one. I can't believe Steve didn't know that was a tarot card that Benjy gave him that night. Plus what happened to it anyway? Benjy runs away after a good chastening by Steve and being frowned at by Kayla. Unfortunately for him, he runs into brother EJ upstairs who bullies him around for old times sake.

How amazing was it the speed that EJ's black eye disappeared? LIGHTNING!

Finally dumb ole Shawn and Belle escape psycho Philip and end up on this cruise ship bound for Australia. Only they would. And Nick pawned his Rolex to get them the money since stupid Shawn had to get himself arrested and they had to use all the money that Kayla gave them to post his bail ($8,000!!!!) IDIOT! To further demonstrate his stupidity Shawn wants to gallivant all over the cruise ship while Belle says that she and Claire are not leaving the cabin until they dock in Australia. Kinda smart there Belle. Too bad you don't LISTEN to YOURSELF. Shawn goes on about Claire having fun and how they can't live their lives being paranoid all the time and I'm sitting there with my mouth hanging open and thinking, "Whu-whu-whu-WHAT?!" Now is NOT the time to be hanging out by the pool when you have basically kidnapped your own child no matter what you think is right or wrong. And HELLO? Is this not what Steve lectured them on when Shawn came up with the hair-brained idea of running away? Never settling down, always looking over their shoulders? I must comment when a few weeks ago Shawn called about the whole money thing and Steve's standing there cackling, "HAHAHA!! They need money, right? I TOLD THEM!!! N'YAH N'YAH!" That just totally cracked me up.

Anyway, Belle lets doofus Shawn talk her into parading around so everyone can see them. I love it when she's reading the paper on deck and lookie lookie there's a picture of them with the caption "Couple Sought in Child Abduction" and she starts freaking out. Shawn's got that look on his face that says, "Aw man, no more fun man." When he finally gets back to the cabin, she's already changed and in a packing frenzy, screeching that they're getting off at the next docking. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention they just HAD to call the ship's doctor for a fever Claire was having the night before. No baby aspirin, didn't even think it could be because she's teething. So they've got him all suspicious anyway because Claire's passport didn't have any immunizations recorded. Yeah, they've had all this figured out from the get-go. NOT.

Kate sets up this phony hero show to prove that Sami couldn't lift that beam off Lucas's legs. She brings in some geeky physics professor from MIT to prove her point along with some anthropologist or some gibberish she spouted off. What was really stupid about this whole thing was after Sami was unable to move the fake beam, Kate sashayed over and moved it with no problem. So what made HER be able to move it and not Sami? Kate's not exactly She-Hulk. And if there were a second person (as we know there was) what's the big frikkin' deal? If I'd been Sami , I'd told everyone that some mountain man showed up and helped me and he didn't want any kind of publicity so he disappeared back in the mountains. Or even Bigfoot. Also Kate and everyone is forgetting that Sami DID drag Lucas to the road BY HERSELF. However I think Sami should've just left it all alone and not got back at Kate. I had to agree with Roman when he said that she hadn't change at all with pulling low-class stunts of that nature. Yeah, during Kate's stock holder presentation, she switched the presentation DVD with the surveillance DVD of Kate and EJ doing the nasty. It really wasn't that dramatic, IMO, and EJ turned it all around to benefit the company. Made it out to be a big CGI production. For someone who thinks super quick on his feet like, he sure is stupid about knowing when someone's hiding they're pregnant.

I felt sorry for Steve being in the psych ward especially when he was talking about eating breakfast with the other "patients" and the one guy in a straitjacket and being spoon fed the applesauce and spitting it all over himself. Kayla's doctor friend comes in and they get started with the psychotherapy. He puts Steve under and we see him in the room with the bright lights and strapped to the table. I find it extremely hard to believe that a grown up EJ was there to watch him receive electric shocks and flash the tarot card in front of his face. The only way I can believe this is if it happened right before Jack found him in that hospice house. Otherwise we are talking about a MAJOR and COMPLETE rewrite of Days history. What they SHOULD have done was have Stefano in the shadows and him laughing and a garbled voice saying, "You're one of us now!" Then I would've believed all that happened right after his body was stolen. When he comes out of the hypnosis, he lies and says he doesn't remember seeing anyone in the room with him. He wants to go home but Kayla reminds him for the umpteenth time he committed to two weeks. He relents and says that he hates to get rid of her but they had a thing where he has to "bead by the hour" which I thought was pretty funny. However he doesn't plan on making any bracelets. He's all about breaking out with the dime in his pocket.

I thought that was really low of Billie accusing Sami of still having of thing for EJ when Sami was trying to warn Billie to stay away from him. And BTW, WHY does Billie need to store boxes at Lucas' when she has her own apartment now? That makes NO sense whatsoever. And how funny that no sooner she gets moved in, that Victor evicts her. But I'm getting ahead of myself. ALSO Billie finds out that Sami's pregnant when Sami gets sick after she plays that trick on Kate and Billie has the audacity to suggest that baby is not Lucas's! Where in the world does she get off even thinking that? What is WRONG with her? She's all flirting shamelessly with EJ and has this weird idea for home security systems and jumps at the chance to go into bidness with him and has not one but THREE people warn her about him, but she's just like "WHUTEVER". And I thought it was all over the radio that night EJ fled the coop when John was shot. How did Billie not know about this?

I had to cackle when Sami beat Lucas with that kangaroo when he said, "At least I'll know the baby's mine from the beginning." That was a pretty stupid thing to say. Of course we know that Sami is completely freaked out over this because she's 100% sure EJ's the father.

OK I'm totally confused with Lucas's employment. One minute he decides to take EJ's offer but then doesn't sign the contract and then we have to listen to all the reasons from EJ on why Lucas should take the job. And he still says no. Then after Steve attacks EJ, EJ is ordering Lucas to call the lawyers and get down to the police station and all this other job related stuff and I'm thinking, "OK, he must've taken the job." Then suddenly Lucas is over at Victor's asking Philip to see if he can get his job back cause he doesn't want to work for EJ making it sound like he hasn't signed any contract. What the frick is going on?? Is he employed or not??? And Philip is such a slimeball but did make a good point when he said Lucas hadn't even come to visit him until he wanted something. BUT considering the way Philip's been acting who would want to visit him? I was impressed that he pointed out to Victor that they did put Lucas in the middle but of course Victor squashed that like a bug. And that whole "Call security Philip, we have an intruder," was just ridiculous. At least Philip had sense enough not to follow through with that. Oh yeah and then the next time we see EJ and Lucas together, EJ's reminding him of some conference! OMG!!!

That whole thing with Max and Abbey was just kinda bogus and really reaching. There is NO way he ever had a crush on her. Never has he given any indication he ever thought of her as anything more than a puppy dog or a kid sister which he said as much when he gave her that Christmas gift. I thought it was mature of her to admit her feelings for him. She is so weird anyway. I've always thought so. Hesitant, shy, booksmart, holier-than-thou, extremely pretty but totally BLAAAAH. How she is Jack and Jennifer's daughter beats me. Nick has more personality in his little finger than she does in her entire hand. Oh yeah and what's with the girly thumb rings that Max and Bo are wearing. Really Queenie if you ask me.

So the bones are Mimi's dad, David Lockhart. Big surprise. What's shocking is Mimi's hair is blond again. But not as shocking as BRITNEY SPEARS GOING BALD!!! GOOD LORD. That girl has gone completely nutso. One day of rehab is not going to do her any good. She needs ONE YEAR! But I digress. I'm curious as to what they're going to do with Bonnie and Mimi. They're going to be leaving pretty soon. Are they just gonna disappear like Tek and Lexie? What about Mimi and Philip's baby? You'd think Vic and Phil would be all hot to get their hands on Phil's actual heir. Maybe when they said "terminate" the contract, they actually meant "terminate" the pregnancy??? After all, Philip was all ready to terminate Belle's pregnancy since it wasn't his baby. Who knows. I'm really bored with all the Lockhart junk anyway. Unfortunately, Patrick may be in the hoosegow but he's still causing trouble. Especially for Chelsea.

Yeah, just when she thought it was safe to go back in the water she gets two big hunks taken outta her in one day. First she makes an absolute fool outta herself when she sees Dr. Rebert at the hospital and of course thinks he's Dr. Shane Patton. Chelsea immediately throws herself in his arms and starts kissing him all over his face while he stands there like a statue. Dr. Rebert is a cutie but let's face it has NO personality whatsoever. Mr. Brickwall should be his name. Billie is standing over to the side with her face in her hands bemoaning the fact that her daughter is a fruitloop. Chelsea finally realizes her mistake, apologizes profusely, turns three shades of purple and red and flees the premises with Billie hot on her heels. Billie tries to tell Chelsea that it's not as bad as it is (HAHAHAHA) but Chelsea knows better and says she's going to find Nick so he can get to the bottom of this cruel cruel joke. Uh-oh.

Meanwhile, Nick of course is freaking out because Dr. Rebert advertised in the paper that lab assistant job and he just knooooows that Chelsea is gonna see it and apply for it. Yep. Freak on out, Nick. Abbey tells him it's time to tell Chelsea the truth but before he can, Chelsea goes over to Maggie's where she tells her to go upstairs and make herself comfortable in his room. Who does that? I don't know, but that's kinda invasion of privacy doncha think? Chelsea's looking around his room and he's got the typical science geek stuff -- Albert Einstein posters, computer (which I thought she would log into and find his lonelysplicer account), science posters and then lo and behold she sees a movie poster for Patton and a movie poster for one with "Shane" in the title and it immediately clicks. That's one smart cookie. I betcha she would figure out Sami's pregnant just by looking at her. Unlike EJ. Needless to say she is devastated and when Nick shows up she gives him both barrels. I felt sorry for both of them because she kept saying he'd lied to her which he really didn't and there is no way the old Chelsea would've let him profess his feelings for her. She would've laughed his face and ground his heart in the mud. And that's a fact.

So after finding out her lonelysplicer is actually Nick she goes over to Bo and Hope's to cry on their shoulders. They offer their sympathies and Hope is even being really nice to her. Hope explains that maybe the emails was a "shy guy's" way of professing his feelings without getting hurt and Chelsea kind of leans toward that but then stiffens up again. Bo gets a call from Roman and leaves to go downtown. Lo and behold we actually get to see Doodlebug. Are they EVER gonna name that kid? That's one HUGE baby! Hope and Chelsea have this really nice talk and Hope tells Chelsea that she forgives her for Zach's death and all the other pain. In the meantime, troublemaker Roman just has to show Bo page 286, line 17 of Patrick's 500 page confession which states how "Chelsea helped him on occasion". One particular occasion being the night Patrick kidnapped Hope and he had Chelsea call Bo to tell him she saw Patrick and Hope headed out of town. All of this was extremely stupid and contrived. Bo goes barrelling home and starts going off on Chelsea and let me say that HELLO? if she HADN'T called Bo then what would've happened to Hope THEN?! HUH HUH Mr. Bigshot? I mean Patrick was all ready to KILL Hope! So once again Bo disowns Chelsea for absolutely no good reason this time. And obviously he totally forgot how she and Nick took money to his ijit son Shawn -- does that not count for anything? What about everything she has done presently? I think she's proven that she's changed and plus NOW he's going to believe Patrick just because he's in prison and presumably has nothing to gain? UGH. Chelsea once again leaves in tears and while Hope tries to talk sense into Bo's thick skull he replies, "Duuuuh. Me not gonna forgive her! Me stubborn ijit like Shawn! Gug."

Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention that after Steve escaped the hospital he went immediately to confront EJ about being tortured and EJ whips out that tarot card and Steve falls under the spell. EJ is really evil. He threatens Steve that if he doesn't do what he's ordered then people he loves will be hurt namely Kayla or Stephanie and STEVE will be the one that hurts them. He continues to taunt Steve until Kayla and Bo show up and he quickly hides the card in his jacket. He pretends like he's all concerned for Steve's welfare but Kayla just slaps his a good one and says that if he hurts Steve, she'll kill him herself. Later on at the police station, EJ drops the charges against Steve and of course we all know why -- so Steve can start doing his bidding. Gak.

Well, there you have it folks. Two weeks worth in a nutshell. If there was something I didn't mention like Willow and her stupid smirking, then I didn't have any interest in it. For the record I can't stand her. Feel free to leave comments!

Gaaaawwwllleeeee! Finally Gonna Update!

Just to let you know that I'm finally caught up on Days for the last two weeks. It has been a struggle this last week to watch the show while dealing with my other stuff. For those of you that have been reading my other posts, I finally did hear from my art instructor regarding that on-line exam that I got kicked out of and I'm going to be able to get back in and take it. I tell you, I was stressing big time this weekend over that. You can ask the Husband and he'll tell you that I was completely nutso.

Anyhoo. I have computer class to go to in about 15 minutes so hopefully when I get back I'll be able to work on my witty commentary. If everything goes well, I should have it posted by this afternoon.

Amy