Something Stupid This Way Comes . . .

I was pretty bored overall with last week's Days. We get to see Steve all strait-jacketed up in the loony bin and he pretty much snows his doctor into getting him out of the strait-jacket but only if he takes a sedative. Of course we all know what he's really after and that's her cell phone. I still can't figure out if he's totally under EJ's control or only half and half and he's just an idiot now. BECAUSE HE CALLS EJ TO GET HIM OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. Stupid stupid stupid. I had to laugh at his antics with the doctor. Especially that part where he makes a big production of swallowing the pills and then kissing her on the nose.

Belle and Shawn are still on that island and all of a sudden Claire has blood poisoning. Shawn decides he'll build a raft to get them off the island while Belle stands there and berates him for even thinking of such a stupid idea. He makes a valid point in that if they don't try and get off the island, Claire is as good as dead so even if they do drown or get sucked into a whirl pool at least they tried instead of sitting around on their hineys. That shuts her up -- but only for about 5 seconds. All they have done while stranded is take turns blaming each other for the predicament they're in. Or maybe that's Shawn blaming himself a good 90% of the time while Belle goes back and forth between, "I can't believe we're in the situation" and "You're the man Shawn! I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth!"

You would think Lucas would finally realize that Sami is totally off her nut and needs some good therapy or maybe a good dose of Prozac. This girl has had moods swings the like I'VE never even seen. And I have mood swings, people. One minute she's all, "I'm good! Let's get married in the church!" and then she's, "GAK! GAK! WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE SALEM NOOOW! NOW LUCAS! NOOOW!" This is one time I REALLY wish they would do something totally different and have her actually CONFESS it all to Lucas. And also NOT forge the stupid medical records. Why not SURPRISE the viewing audience for ONCE? Hmmm? Even Celeste tells her that fake medical records aren't going to cut it with EJ but I read where she goes ahead and does it anyway -- this time dragging Nick into it. Like he doesn't have enough problems of his own.

Yeah, Nick and Chelsea are getting really cozy with the calculus tutoring. I never knew math could be such a stimulate but I guess it was all that yodeling, "Lowdy hi -- mody low" or whatever he was trying to teach her. He's flying high in the sky when he goes to tell Abbey his wonderful news and just like good ol Abbey she calls him a "chump" and says Chelsea is just paying him back for the whole Shane Patton thing. I would SO love to slap that smirk off her face. I absolutely CAN'T STAND HER!!!!!! I've tried to like her. I really have, but it's times like these that remind me what an absolute JERK she is! Her name should be Debbie Downer because that's ALL she does. Bring people down. Except for her precious MAX. Ugh. How she thinks he walks on water is beyond me. Even he himself has pointed out what an ass he's been to every girl that's had the unfortunate privilege to fall under his spell. But dumb Abbey just continues to sing his praises. And I still can't accept his sudden attraction for his "star" mechanic. It wasn't but three months ago when he compared her to a little sister -- or was that a puppy? Either way he had NO interest her whatsoever. And Jed's pretty stupid too to be all hung up on her because she's been nothing but rude to him ever since he made the mistake of talking to her that day at Java Cafe.

Nick and Chelsea's happiness is the shortest-lived EVER. He decides it's a GOOD idea to tell her about sleeping with Billie! OMG. He must've took the entire bottle of Stupid Pills. No one can talk ANY sense into him -- until he actually talks to Chelsea and comes THEES close to spilling the beans and she's the one who's like, "All that's in the past. I don't care what you did in the past with some older woman." And then it's BILLIE who comes busting in all flustered and yapping, "OMG! You didn't tell her did you?!" and it takes Chelsea all of 2 seconds to put it all together (that she should've put together the very night Nick and Billie did the deed) and she's absolutely horrified and grossed out. Nick gets a big slap on the face and Chelsea tells her mother she means nothing to her now! "GROSS!! ICK! I can't believe you two! BLECH! I'm going to throw up now!"

So Willow sinks even further is the depths of disgrace and shame when she asks EJ for a JOB. Ugh. Had to laugh though when he tells her to "turn around and BEND over"!! BA-HAHAHAHAHA! And she acts all worried! You would think she'd be used to that kind of talk and not think twice about it. Yes. That was mean. But I truly can't stand her and her pork chop lips. Plus, like he's going to boink her right in front of the Java Cafe? EJ's pretty scummy but he's NOT that scummy. He tells her he's going to write her a check -- what ELSE would he be doing? And her assignment? To break into Bo and Hope's house and steal Hope's jewelry. Of course we know this is to make Bo want to have Billie's STOOPID security system installed so EJ can spy on them. Like we couldn't see THAT one coming from a mile away. Like an elephant on the horizon! Geesh. Willow refuses but then has to reconsider when EJ calls the YMCA and informs the Den Mother that Willow is pregnant. So the Den Mother has to throw Willow out on her ear because of their policy of "no children". Technically, Willow doesn't have a child yet -- it's still in the oven -- you would think they would let her stay there until the birth or at least until she could find another place. But as you all know, this is a soap and stuff like that doesn't happen on soaps --just the stupid and unbelievable. So after the Den Mother calls to tell Willow she's out, Willow is forced to accept EJ's offer. Wonder what she'll spend all THAT money on? She stated, "This is two years salary!" Maybe Jed's independent study in cosmetology?

A lot more idiocies went down in the town of Salem but they're really not that important. I'm sure there'll be lots more to talk about NEXT week! Isn't there always?

(Screen Caps courtesy of Days2 with my own added captions)